Writing About Real People (Ethically)

If you’re writing about real people, you’re walking a tightrope over a pit of snakes — legal, emotional, and reputational. The trick is to use a safety net made of ethics, due diligence, and clear boundaries. Because at the end of the day, protecting them is also protecting you. And if you do it right, you can tell the story with integrity and sleep at night.

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If you write long enough, you’ll eventually face it: the story you want to tell involves real people. Not characters. Not composites. Actual living humans, with all the mess, memory, and legal baggage that comes with them.

And here’s the uncomfortable truth: just because you can write about someone doesn’t mean you should.

Why Ethics Matter More Than Ever

In Australia, we’ve got some of the toughest defamation laws in the world. Queensland is no exception. You don’t even have to name someone for them to take legal action — if they can be reasonably identified, you’re in the firing line.

It’s not enough to argue, “But it’s true.” Under Queensland law, truth is a defence to defamation only if you can also prove the publication is in the public interest (Queensland Government, 2024). And “public interest” isn’t the same as “people will be interested.” It means the information benefits the community in a genuine way.

So if you’re planning to air your uncle’s dodgy business dealings in a memoir just because the family’s been gossiping about it for years? You’d better have the receipts — and a solid argument for why the world needs to know.

Ask Why

Before you touch the keyboard, sit with this:

  • Does including this person serve the story?
  • Is their private detail truly necessary, or just a juicy extra?
  • Could the same point be made by changing identifying factors?

If you can’t answer those questions without squirming, you’re probably writing for catharsis, not clarity. And there’s nothing wrong with catharsis — it just belongs in your private journal, not in a printed book with an ISBN.

Consent Isn’t Always Simple

If the person’s alive and reachable, consider getting their consent as it can prevent legal headaches, build trust and may lead to richer details.  It also gives you a moral high ground if conflict arises later.

But here’s the catch: consent has to be informed. That means they know exactly what you’re writing, how you’re portraying them, and where it will be published. Don’t soft-pedal the uncomfortable parts to “get it past them” — that’s a betrayal in the making.

And yes, they might say no. That’s when you decide if the story can survive without them, or if you need to make changes to protect both of you.

When You Can’t Ask (or Shouldn’t)

There are times you can’t approach the person:

  • They’re deceased.
  • It’s not safe to contact them.
  • Contact would retraumatise you or them.
  • They’ve disappeared and can’t be found.

In those cases, your best friend is due diligence.

  • Corroborate facts through multiple sources.
  • Document your research with notes, recordings, and timestamps.
  • Minimise details that could lead back to their identity unnecessarily.

As investigative journalist Kate McClymont says: “Write what you can prove, and nothing you can’t.”

Fictionalising Isn’t a Magic Shield

Many writers think they can dodge the legal bullet by changing the name, job, or suburb. But in small communities — especially in rural or regional Queensland — people connect the dots frighteningly fast.

If someone can plausibly prove the character is “clearly about them,” the disguise won’t help you. This is why legal vetting is essential before publication.

Scripts for Tricky Situations

If someone challenges you mid-project:

“I hear your concerns. Let’s go through what’s written and see if we can find a way to protect your privacy without losing the integrity of the story.”

If a family member disputes your memoir account:

“I understand your memory of events is different. I’ve written my own experience and, where possible, supported it with evidence. I’m not claiming to speak for anyone else.”

If a subject asks to see the manuscript before it’s finished:

“I’m happy to share the sections that involve you, but please know the draft may change before publication. My goal is to be accurate and fair.”

The Fallout Factor

Even if you tick every ethical and legal box, you can’t control how people will react. Relationships may sour. Some may cut you off entirely. Others may embrace your work and thank you for telling the truth.

Australian Novelist Helen Garner, who has walked this road many times, puts it bluntly: “You can’t control the fallout — you can only control your process.”

So be ready for backlash — not because you’ve done something wrong, but because truth is uncomfortable, and seeing yourself in someone else’s story can be confronting.

Practical Protections

Use tech to keep yourself safe and sane:

  • Voice memos & call logs: Record what was said and when.
  • Version tracking (Google Docs, Scrivener): Keep an audit trail of every draft.
  • Contact spreadsheet: Log outreach attempts, dates, and responses — invaluable if challenged later.
  • Back up your files: Keep them stored in at least two secure places.

Memoir Writers: Special Note

Memoir sits in a grey zone between journalism and storytelling. The Australian Society of Authors offers clear guidance: be transparent about what’s fact, what’s memory, and what’s reconstruction. And if a scene blends fact with creative interpretation, make that plain in your author’s note.

This not only helps with legal defence, but also builds reader trust — which is the currency memoirists live on.

Final Word

If you’re writing about real people, you’re walking a tightrope over a pit of snakes — legal, emotional, and reputational. The trick is to use a safety net made of ethics, due diligence, and clear boundaries.

Because at the end of the day, protecting them is also protecting you. And if you do it right, you can tell the story with integrity and sleep at night.

Cam’s Writing About Real People Ethics Checklist

Before you write about a real person — whether in memoir, journalism, or creative nonfiction — use this checklist to protect yourself legally, ethically, and emotionally. Australian laws, especially in Queensland, are strict, and reputations are fragile. Work through each section before you publish.

1. Motivation & Necessity

☐ Am I including this person for a clear, story-driven reason — not out of revenge or gossip?

☐ Does their inclusion serve the story’s purpose?

☐ Could I anonymise, blend, or fictionalise the person without losing the story’s impact?

2. Consent & Communication

☐ Have I sought informed consent where possible?

☐ Have I been honest about how they will be portrayed and where the work will appear?

☐ Do I have a written or recorded record of this conversation?

3. Accuracy & Evidence

☐ Can I prove the factual claims I make?

☐ Have I corroborated sensitive information with more than one credible source?

☐ Have I clearly distinguished between fact, memory, and interpretation?

4. Risk Reduction

☐ Have I minimised identifying details that aren’t essential to the story?

☐ Have I changed names, locations, or occupations where it’s safe and effective to do so?

☐ Have I checked whether these changes are sufficient to prevent identification?

5. Legal & Professional Advice

☐ Have I considered getting a legal read (vetting) before publication?

☐ Have I reviewed guidance from the Australian Society of Authors or Media, Entertainment and Arts Alliance?

6. Emotional Readiness

☐ Am I prepared for potential backlash or relationship fallout?

☐ Am I comfortable standing by my process if challenged?

☐ Have I taken steps to safeguard my own mental health before release?

Tip: Keep a digital or physical folder containing all research, consents, and communication logs. If questions arise later, you’ll have proof of your process.


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