Not all feedback is created equal. Some feedback will be super helpful and will genuinely make your work shine, but other times, people might not understand your vision. That’s okay. If someone gives you feedback that doesn’t align with your goals or creative vision, feel free to politely let it go. You know your project best.
Getting feedback on your work can feel like a gut punch, even if it’s constructive. I mean, no one likes being told their baby—aka their writing or idea—needs work. It’s like someone telling you that your pet guinea pig isn’t the cutest thing in the world. Ouch. But the truth is: feedback is a necessary part of growing as a creator. And no, you don’t have to burst into tears every time you hear something you didn’t expect (promise).
So, let’s chat about how to handle feedback with grace—and maybe a tiny bit of a stiff upper lip—without getting all emotional about it. Trust me, you’ve got this.
1. Take a Deep Breath
Before you do anything, breathe. Seriously, just breathe. It’s so easy to let your emotions take over when you hear something you don’t like, but the first step is to stay calm. If someone gives you feedback that feels like a punch to the gut, take a moment. Step away. Drink some water. Close your eyes and think, “I can do this.” You don’t need to react right away—give yourself the space to process.
Tip for not crying (for real): Try not to absorb feedback when you’re already feeling emotionally drained or stressed. Timing matters. If you know you’re having a bad day, maybe wait until you’re in a better headspace to hear feedback.
2. Recognise That Feedback Is Not About You
I get it. It’s your work. It feels personal. But here’s the secret: feedback is about the work, not you as a person. No one is attacking your soul or telling you you’re a terrible person (unless they’re a jerk, but that’s a whole other issue). They’re talking about your project. And just like anything else in life, there’s always room for improvement.
Reminder: This feedback doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It means you’re on your way to getting even better.
3. Embrace the Growth Mindset
Okay, so this is a game-changer. Think about feedback as a tool for growth. Sure, it might sting, but it’s an opportunity to level up your work. You’re not a failure. You’re a creator on a journey. And like any journey, there are bumps along the way. Every bit of feedback, even the tough stuff, is a chance to improve.
Tip for growth: Write down the feedback in your own words. Look at it as a challenge. “Okay, how can I make this better? What can I do to improve this part?” When you shift your mindset to a place of growth, feedback starts to feel more like a guide rather than a criticism.
4. Ask Questions
If something in the feedback feels confusing or unclear, don’t be afraid to ask questions. It’s okay to want clarification. It’s better to understand what the person meant than to stew on it and let your mind run wild with negative thoughts. Sometimes, feedback might be vague or not fully explained, so get that clarity.
Tip for not crying (again): Asking questions puts you in control. It shows you care about improving, and it makes the feedback feel less like an attack and more like a partnership in your success.
5. Remember, Not All Feedback is Golden
Not all feedback is created equal. Some feedback will be super helpful and will genuinely make your work shine, but other times, people might not understand your vision. That’s okay. If someone gives you feedback that doesn’t align with your goals or creative vision, feel free to politely let it go. You know your project best.
Tip for filtering: Trust your gut. Does the feedback resonate with your goals, or is it just noise? It’s okay to acknowledge the feedback and then set it aside if it doesn’t work for you.
6. Celebrate the Wins, No Matter How Small
Every bit of feedback that makes your work stronger is a win. And every time you handle feedback without crying (or at least with only a few tears), that’s a win too. Celebrate the progress you’ve made. Maybe take a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come and how much stronger your work will be because of the feedback you received.
Tip for self-love: Keep a “praise file.” This is where you stash all the nice things people have said about your work. It’s your emotional backup, and trust me, you’ll need it when the tough feedback rolls in.
7. It’s OK to Cry (If You Need To)
Now, listen. I’m not saying you should never cry. If you need to let it out, do it. Crying doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it means you’re human. Sometimes, the emotions just hit. And when they do, let yourself feel them. Then, dust yourself off, take a deep breath, and come back stronger.
Tip for the after-cry: After the tears, don’t stay in that emotional state for too long. Do something positive to counterbalance it, whether it’s reading some positive feedback, going for a walk, or listening to a podcast that inspires you. Shake it off and get back to work.
You’ve Got This Handling feedback doesn’t have to be a dramatic emotional rollercoaster. With practice, it’ll become easier to separate your feelings from the work itself. The more you embrace feedback, the more you’ll see it as an opportunity for growth, rather than something to fear. So, remember, stay calm, embrace the challenge, and always, always remember how far you’ve come
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