Choosing the Right Point of View for Your Memoir

Aunty Mavis used to say, “It’s not just what you tell, love, it’s how you tell it.” She was talking about her sponge cake recipe at the time, but the same applies to memoir writing. One of the earliest — and most nerve-wracking — decisions is whether to write in first person (“I”) or third person (“she/he/they”).

It’s a bit like deciding whether to walk barefoot through your memories or to wear a sensible pair of shoes. Both will get you there, but they’ll feel different underfoot.

First Person: The Teacup in Your Hands

First person gives your reader the sense they’re sitting right beside you, holding a warm cuppa as you speak.

Pros:

• Intimate, immediate, emotionally direct.
• Ideal for drawing readers deep into your lived experience.

Cons:

• Can be confronting with painful memories.
• Relies solely on your perspective — you can’t easily include scenes you didn’t witness.

Best Industry Practice:
Australian editors and publishers (including those at the Queensland Writers Centre and Australian Society of Authors) often note that first person is the default choice for memoirs. It’s considered the most marketable and relatable, especially in Australia, where readers value authenticity and emotional honesty. However, they want consistency — a clear, stable voice from start to finish. Frequent, unexplained shifts in POV are a red flag for acquisition editors.

Third Person: The View from Across the Garden

Third person offers a little breathing space — like looking at your life from the garden gate instead of the kitchen table.

Pros:

• Adds perspective and distance, making it easier to handle confronting material.
• Enables you to incorporate scenes you didn’t witness first-hand (via research or interviews).

Cons:

• May feel less personal for some readers.
• Risk of drifting into sounding like a biography rather than a memoir.

Best Industry Practice:
Some Australian publishers will consider third-person memoirs, but they tend to work best when the subject is well-known, or the author is blending memoir with reportage or biography. If you go third person, publishers will want to see a deliberate narrative choice, not an accidental drift.

The Hybrid Approach: A Foot in Both Worlds

Some memoirists blend first and third person — using first for deeply personal scenes and third for context or distance. Done well, this can offer intimacy and perspective. Done poorly, it can read like two different books stitched together.

Best Industry Practice:
If you attempt a hybrid, be intentional. Make the shifts clear through chapter breaks or stylistic signals. Editors will expect you to justify the approach in your synopsis or cover letter.

A Gentle Word on Overwhelm

If you’ve realised you’ve unintentionally mixed points of view, don’t panic. This isn’t a reason to bin your work or delay sending that pitch. Memoir manuscripts are often refined with an editor before publication — publishers expect that.

Lightening the Load with ChatGPT

You can use AI tools to tidy up POV inconsistencies without losing your voice:

1. Test the Tone – Paste a section and ask: “Rewrite this in first person without changing the emotional tone.”
2. Perspective Shift – Reverse it: “Rewrite this in third person, keeping sensory details.”
3. Blend Check – Ask it to flag where the POV changes so you can smooth them out.

Use ChatGPT for heavy lifting, but keep the storytelling heart in your hands.

Still Pitch Your Manuscript

Whether your draft is first, third, or still finding its footing, submit it if your story is ready. As Writing NSW reminds us: “Editors look for a compelling premise, authentic voice, and market fit — technical refinements can come later.”

So pour another cuppa, steady your hands, and keep writing to The End. That’s where the magic — and the publishing contracts — happen.

---

☕ If this blog untangled a knot in your memoir, you can shout me a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/scribblyteam. It keeps the tea hot, the biscuits plentiful, and the words flowing.